Tuesday 30 September 2008

In which the American dream becomes a nightmare



Everyone here seems worried. Dow Jones is on the slide and it’s all going horribly wrong on Wall Street. The yellow cab driver, haunted look, unshaven, edgy, very Travis Bickle, talks about it. The news vendor hollers: Wall Street crash read all about it. Even the impenetrable uber-cool wise guy known as the Stalker looks worried. Why do I find this hilarious? – it’s only money, after all. Saul is only bothered because he’s just moved house, shifted his base across the river from Manhattan to Brooklyn Heights. Downsizing is his name for it.

Sunday, we take the car out of town. Saul drives all the way out along Atlantic Avenue, across to Long Island, where he has this old abandoned beach house. It’s where he and Alison spent that long infested summer of 07, getting wasted in the heat. I stand on the veranda,recalling her photos of that time. I imagine them clinking glasses together, then making passionate love on the bare boards. His mouth full of her salty hair, her long thighs clamped around his waist. I feel nothing – not envy, not jealousy, no regrets.

You don’t mind coming here d’you says Saul. It’s just great to get away from civilization.
Which seems to be ending, I suggest.
I stare at my reflection in the hall mirror. Maybe later it’ll be my turn to be seduced here. I wouldn’t mind, it’s nicer than the city. And kind of romantic. Saul seems changed, more subdued.
No regrets, I guess, I say.
He’s alone on the balcony, listening to waves crashing out on the beach. For a moment she crept back in his memory. So close yet so far out of reach.

We’re in the kitchen, Saul is handing me a cold beer from the fridge. He slumps onto the sofa and spreads his arms wide.It’s kind of cold at night here, so we get closer.
Tell me about her, about Alison, I say.
He plays with a strand of my hair, sighs.
It's a long story, he says. Maybe some other time?
Okay, another story.
Well, there is the one about Fitzgerald.
You mean Scott Fitzgerald?
F Scott. Used to be one of the neighbours.
This, as it turns out, was also a long story.

Thursday 4 September 2008

Avignon


The tall dark haired waitress with the slim waist sways between the tables, pad in hand, pencil ready. Her smile is warm and friendly, and seems almost genuine. I order an aperitif and flick through my magazines.

I’m in the centre of Avignon, in a cafĂ© on the Place d’Horloge, a stone’s throw from the famous Palais des Papes. On my left is the imposing 19th century theatre, in front of me the Banque de France. The noonday sun is beating down remorselessly on the square, but I’m completely in the shade. It really is hot enough to fry an egg on the pavement.

On the table to my right are a bunch of Americans who insist in ordering everything entirely in English. Fortunately for them the waitress is used to such morons. Ahead of me are a young couple with suitcases – a fair haired girl in a yellow blouse, and a dark haired guy in a red che guevara t shirt. They’re laughing and joking, but I don’t understand what they’re saying. It might be Russian, I don’t know.

On the table to my left another young couple are engaged in a more animated discussion [ok argument]. The guy is wearing wrap around shades, a mottled headscarf, a vest, and
shorts that remind me of nadal, the tennis player. He looks just like a pirate.
The girl with him is dark skinned, with grey hair tied back behind her head. From their accent and the way they look I’m guessing they’re both beurs. The girl doesn’t smile, she looks sulky. She has a curvy figure, accentuated by her tight jeans and the shirt stretched across her bosom. Below it her navel is exposed. Occasionally she catches me glancing at her, and I turn my attention to the Americans.

On the table in front of me sits a stack of brochures from various immobiliers. I’m flicking through these slowly, marking with a pen any of interesting properties. House hunting is difficult enough, but in this climate it’s even more demanding.

The conversation to my left is becoming more animated. Eventually the guy with the headscarf gets to his feet, shrugs, and walks off down the alley opposite. The girl rests her elbows on the table, finds a packet of cigarettes. She asks if I can light one for her and I hand her my lighter. She inhales and blows the smoke out.

Men, she says, sometimes they’re just not worth it, huh?
I nod in agreement. They don’t understand us, I say.
You can say that again, she laughs derisively. She gestures toward the empty seat. Take Khaled. Good looking guy, but such a baby. And so possessive.
You sound fed up, I venture.
It’s not just him. They’re all the same. Especially the beurs.
Are you from Avignon, I ask.
She shakes her head. Originally Marseille.
I went out with a guy from Marseille, I say. A beur. He practically raped me on the first date.
They can be a bit rough, she agrees. They’re very dominant. The woman is definitely second best.
Personally, I prefer women, I say.
She looks at me carefully, blows out some more smoke.
That’s ………interesting, she says. You don’t look the type.
I laugh. She stubs out her cigarette on the pavement.
Are you looking for a flat in Avignon?
Yes, but it’s not easy. Quite expensive.
These immobiliers are only in it for their cut. Why not let me give you a personal tour?
I don’t know. I look at my watch.
Listen, you can come over to our place. Khaled has some very good dope we could try.
Come on, she says, I won’t take no for an answer.

The girl’s name is Nadja. She works as a belly dancer in some exotic club in the city. I’m guessing that’s not the only kind of dancing that goes on. Her belly is indeed nice, I tell her. Her hair is fabulous, her face is not beautiful but beguiling. She’s really quite charming. But she still doesn’t smile.

Her flat is an oasis of calm. The rooms are full of some of the most crazy weird junk I ever saw. She collects strange things, she tells me, mainly from second hand shops and junk stores. Khaled hates it, but he lets her get her way, in exchange for sex on demand.

Nadja leads me to an open courtyard in the back of the flat. It’s beautiful, with flowers all around and a small fountain bubbling away in the centre. She lays down a rug on the grass and we sit together. She hands me a reefer and I take a drag slowly. It’s strong shit. Moroccan dope, she tells me. Khaled knows a guy in Marseille who supplies him. It’s probably ripped off, but so what?

Nadja says she’s curious. She’s never done it with another girl. Never even thought about it. What’s it like?
It depends on the girl, I say. When I said I prefer women, it means I’m bisexual. I’m not gay.
She nods, takes another drag.
D’you find me attractive, she says.
Sure, I say. You’ve got a great body, and you look different.
She smiles. I get the feeling you’ve been around.
I’ve lived a strange life, I guess. Been on my own since I was thirteen. Lived in a commune in Paris. I’ve dabbled in all sorts of things – group sex, hard drugs, the occult.
No way, she snorted. Fantastic.
Khaled stands on the edge of the garden staring at us. He’s wearing a pair of boxer shorts, and looks moody. Nadja flashes him a glance.
Ever screwed a brother and sister at the same time, she says.
I stare at both of them.
There’s always a first time, I say.