Girl from the banlieue

Is this Real Life? Or is this just fantasy? What's the difference anyway?

I need time, and space. So I'm taking a rain check on the rat race at present.Here in the banlieues, holed out with a friend. It's me in the photo, taken by Lucien.

You want her name, I guess? You always want detail, don't you? Kind of nosy like that.

Okay, the name is Ella - like the singer Ella Fitzgerald. Whoever Gerald is - Lucien thinks it's funny anyhow.

A photographic model, in fact. I got to know Lucien through posing, and now we've become quite close. She's very beautiful, don't you think?But then, he's a great artist, could make anyone look good.

Ella is from Paris, though you wouldn't guess that from her name. She used to live out in the banlieue with just her cat for company. Lately however she's been staying with Lucien here in the city. Maybe it'll pan out, who knows. For now, she really turns him on. I get the feeling it's mutual.

Lucien has a great apartment. Did I tell you about it? No, I didn't think so, not in detail.
It's on the second floor - known as l'etage nobile - of this art deco building in the old village of Batignolles. Lucien has great taste, as befits a photographic artist.

Soon though, it'll be time to move on. I'd like to stay, really, I would, but there's too many bad vibes here. Too much history. Paris itself is a curse, and the memories crowd in on me when I walk the boulevards. I can't go near St Germain. Sandrine in my head, telling me what to do, driving me crazy. I need to get somewhere she doesn't know about.

Is David right about me? Looking at that photo, maybe I'm a fantasy. An object of desire, perhaps that's all I am, just like Sandrine before me. It hurts though, that he doesn't believe in me.I'm going crazy again, I can feel it. If I didn't have other people - ones who believe in me, I'd cave in.

Here's to you Lucien, Helene, Etienne, Gerhard,and the rest. You know who you are. Je t'aime.